I really wish you were here in SF for 2 reasons — 1) this is Tommy Wiseau’s Fisherman’s Wharf office. Yes there are huge jeans hanging just below his face and 2) someone at the conference grossly misquoted Audre Lorde’s “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house” in front of the entire group today.
Consider this your postcard!
I have to fly cross country tomorrow and my nerves are already in tatters after getting food poisoning today (Cobb salad is dead to me now) and trying to finish out program launches before I take a few days off.
Sitting here and reading about the scientific explanations for turbulence really isn’t making this any better. I know it’s an irrational fear and I know the factoids about how I’m more likely to die in an auto accident than on any flight at any time.
That’s the thing. I’m not afraid of dying or crashing or any of that because it’s illogical. I’m bodily afraid of the feeling of turbulence. My guts literally cannot handle being physically sloshed around while I have no control over them. (The sprinkling of claustrophobia inherent in squishing my fat ass into an airline seat doesn’t help either.)
I’ve done all my little rituals: Packed methodically. Put out 2 Xanax and a glass of water for the second I wake up so I can get my dolls in me before I’m awake enough to be nauseous. Set two alarms just in case. Pre-apologized to Chris for anything stupid I say tomorrow. Tore my cuticles and nail beds to shreds.
Prepare for departure.
"These people think Lincoln started the Civil War because the North was ready to kill to end slavery, when the truth was the South was ready to die to keep slavery. You’re welcome, libertarians: I just unfucked your facts." -Larry Wilmore
This times a thousand million.
I just sent the boyf the dopest valentine ever.
Happy Valentines Day from the Stargate aka back when James Spader was at the peak of bangability aka 199whenever.
The story never ends
Apparently I’m the worst person on Earth at figuring out how seasons of tv work. I went to watch season 2 of the Following and found out that I missed the last 6 episodes of season 1 after I spoilered myself with “Last season on The Following…”
This is after I prematurely ended Season 3 of Boardwalk Empire a few weeks back and thought that the scene with the box was the season finale. And having never finished season 5 of Fringe or the last season of the 4400. Or having any comprehension of where I’m at in Doctor Who in the slightest.
It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing
Best thing I have ever seen I love cats so much omg
Your cute cat of the day
Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course).
Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.
What a smart, sweet kitty!
this is the cutest thing ever omg
I just screamed out loud at how much I love this gif and these comments and the world is an amazing place and I love you all.
This is the best idea for a restaurant. - Imgur
I DON’T THINK IT’S LITERALLY POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LIKE OR FAV OR UPVOTE THIS ENOUGH
I would like to see more of these.
Is this not a thing in America?
It’s a thing all over here in Australia. You get a wrist band. Means you can buy no booze, but you get free soft drink.
there are afew places that do this but in reality its stupid everyplace doesnt
the cost for one person to drink GALLONS of soda is like 2 bucks TOPS but more like under a buck
you will make that back the first shot you sell to their passenger.
don’t be an asshole offer free refreshments to DD’s
At my favorite small town bar they give the DD free beverages, a free T-shirt and a mention on the local radio station as the hero of the week. Beat that!
I’m moving to where ever this sign is from.
When a co-worker spontaneously shares highly personal information in the middle of a staff meeting
Speak truth to power
very exciting and weird modcloth 4X dress (26/28) that doesn’t fit me giveaway !
I’m having a hard time coming up with a single crappy online experience because there have been SO GODDAMN MANY. Had I not been donating to the thrift store, I could show you the trash bag full of Old Navy bad ideas (bat wings with a waistband that wouldn’t fit my thighs, jeans with busted crotches after 3 wears, and a few years ago, the size 22 jeans from the regular part of the store that wouldn’t even come up over my aforementioned thighs and the size 22 Plus jeans that fell down around my knees. On the bus. That one time. It was late at night so only the bus driver saw me. sigh.)
I do have a sad online shopping story though. There was a coat. A gorgeous purple and black checked, lined, hooded, with a lovely ruffle coat on Torrid 3 years ago. I bought it to find out that the waistband did not fit. Alas, it was the last of its kind and on sale so no returns. My mom (who was a seamstress back in her 20’s) offered to remove the pleats in order to add 2 inches to the waist.
She slaved over the coat for several weeks and finally presented it to me, after tearing her hair out over annoying princess seams and recalcitrant linings. I put the coat on, I zipped it up and miraculously…. it fit!
Then I took about 3 steps and the coat rode up to just under my boobs, pulling up my shirt and exposing my crappy low rise Old Navy jeans and underwear. It’s the coat that even a mother’s love couldn’t save. So I’m back to hoodies. The end.
p.s. if this dress does not fit me, I have a close friend who I routinely clothes swap with since we’re relatively speaking the same size. Please consider this entry a twofer as there are two loving closets who would take this dress.
as i mentioned before, i’ll do periodic giveaways of stuff i already have, like the previous stupid cat purse giveaway. i’ve started gambling on modcloth sale and clearance items that i can’t return, so i figured i’d pass the… savings? misery? onto you guys when stuff doesn’t fit me like i like. i figure this will be fun because shopping at my size is a total huge pain in the ass and there’s never giveaways for stuff in our size, BUT i cannot afford to be altruistic enough to buy stuff specifically for giveaways.
the dress up for grabs is the modcloth polished presentation dress in a 4X, made by myrtlewood. according to their size chart, a 4X is a 28/30, but this didn’t fit me- i’d say it’s more of a 26/28. this is like… one of my favorite-looking dresses ever, but it just didn’t fit me.
what you can’t tell by looking at this dress is that the tweed is interwoven with metallic gold threads. it’s very subtle but very beautiful and also impossible to photograph. it also has pockets ! POCKETS ! the dress is lined, and has no stretch. this dress is brand new and never worn, i attempted to slide it over my head once and the dress was like, ‘fuck you.’ (i think largely because my upper arms are 23” and the arm holes are like 20-21”).
the dress’ measurements are as follows (measured flat):
sleeve opening to sleeve opening: 30 in/ 76.2 cm
bust: 27 in / 68.5 cm
waist: 26 in / 66 cm (measured right across that waist seam)
hip: 30 in / 76.2 cm
skirt: 33 in / 83.8 cm (measured from the bottom pocket button across)
arm hole: 10 in / 25.4 cm (this is the outside hole where your arm comes out of the dress, not the inside arm hole- this dress doesn’t have sleeves in the way we understand sleeves usually so there’s no line of demarcation between the body of the dress and the sleeve)
giveaway terms and conditions:
- reblog this post with a story about a crappy online plus size shopping disappointment. be as funny and detailed and/or bitter as you can muster. no body shaming or other craptastic language of course. when you reblog, please reblog as text and not a link; there’s an option at the top of the reblog window to reblog without truncating the post details:
- alternately, if you don’t have a tumblr, send me an e-mail (found on the contact page)
- please don’t send me an ask or fanmail with your answer because the ask feature sux and is confusing to my peanut brain.
- winner will be chosen based on who tickles my funny bone or plays my heart strings like some violin nerd the most.
- you do NOT have to follow my blog to win, i think it is weird to blackmail people with goods.
- you do NOT have to ‘like’ this post to win, unless you actually like it. even then you don’t HAVE to but that would be nice. it’s nice to be nice.
- you PROBABLY should wear a size close to the size of this dress, otherwise you are being a butt to people who fit in this dress.
- you can enter if you live anywhere in the world but if you live in like, francylvania or something you will have to wait until mid-late february for me to ship it cause i’m kind of broke.
- if you win and the dress doesn’t fit you, consider paying it forward. you COULD sell it on ebay or something but would the $25 you got for it be as sweet as making another fat person’s day?! maybe, if you buy donuts with that $25, which is what i would do.
- oh yeah, deadline is friday, 1/31/04, and i’ll announce a winner on monday, 2/3/14
if even one person enters this, i will consider it a great success and do this with every plus size clothing item that i can’t return. otherwise i will continue to bring them to plus size clothing swaps and stand around awkwardly among a bunch of size 12/14 people and leave with the same stuff i brought D:
p.s. this is not a sponsored giveaway, and i bought this dress with my own money. modcloth is not involved and has not given me any free junk.